The Cynglish Beat: Her Hair

Just in time for New Year’s Day, after the party that some couples won’t survive, at least in terms of liver damage, is Her Hair. This is distinctly from a man’s point of view, as is next week’s All I Know About Women, but then, I’m a man and to write heart-felt words from another viewpoint would be cheating  you of the truth… at least in the eyes of some readers. To that end, I present the self-explanatory Her Hair.

~TR

HER HAIR

“I’m not talk-talking to you, you didn’t notice my hair, you see.”

I’m sorry my love, my heart, my shnookums… how has it changed today?

Did you colour it,

cut it,

tease it,

please it,

frost it,

tint it,

curl it,

crimp it,

braid it

or perm it?

“I’m not telling. If you can’t see to notice, then you don’t care.”

Don’t care about your hair? That’s unfair, patent or not. Today I had cheap perfume girl in the bus next to me, yakky cellphone guy in the train behind me, coughing H1N1-man in the elevator beside me.

If I noticed everything, I’d be beside myself.

There’s the jerk in the next cubicle wanting exact time for the monthly meeting,

the supervisor wanting the exact page count for the reiterated report,

the manager wanting exact stats for the precise period,

the client wanting exact dates for the damned delivery,

the Starbucks barista wanting exact change for a change,

the committed banker wanting exact deposit commitments,

the near-broken broker wanting exact purchase instructions,

and the doctor symptomatically wanting exact symptoms.

I love you, adore you, cherish you, snuggle you, hug you, kiss you, nibble you, caress you, married you… so tell me, tell me pleasingly please, did you

colour it,

cut it,

tease it,

please it,

frost it,

tint it,

curl it,

crimp it,

braid it

or perm it?

“Never mind. I don’t matter. You better get changed — my mother’s coming for dinner.

By the way, I blow dried it.”

~

Ciao for now,

Tim.

An excerpt from the upcoming The Cynglish Beat by Tim Reynolds, from Cometcatcher Press.

All words and images here are Copyright Tim Reynolds.

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