The Cynglish Beat: Depression & Naps

Excerpted from upcoming The Cynglish Beat by Tim Reynolds from Cometcatcher Press.


When you, yourself and depression go nose to nose, head to med,

the universe lines up wrong wrong wrong at every turning twisting turn.

Your kids are all stupe stupe stupid,

Except for the dumb one who’s suddenly king of the smart asses.

Your spouse is stupe stupe stupid,

But that doesn’t make you feel any smarter.

Your boss is stupe stupe stupid,

But that’s nothing new.

Management rises to the level of its incompetence,

the people in charge sink to the top.

When you, yourself and depression go nose to nose, head to med,

everyday little things no longer matter.

You don’t have to worry about over tip tipping…

You don’t want to leave the house to fine dine out.

You don’t have to worry about speeding tickets…

You don’t care enough about where you’re go go going to need to speed to get there.

You don’t have to worry if your personal parking space is taken…

You’ll just drive drive drive into the offending Beamer and shove it into the retaining wall.

(Look… it’s your only smile of the day!)

You don’t have to worry about mismatching socks, or if your tie has a stain, or your pants are wrinkled…

That’s what you picked, that’s what you’re wearing and if the world doesn’t like it…

Too fucking bad. It’s your depression and you’ll dress however you want — if you get dressed at all.

You don’t care, don’t give a shit, don’t give a rat’s ass, don’t give a good God damned.

Don’t know what started it.

Don’t know when it’ll end.

Don’t know if anyone cares.

Don’t see the end of the tunnel.

Don’t remember where you left your meds,

or your Omegas,

or your all-natural, mood-lifting, B-Complex Stress Formula.

You don’t think you can do it alone.

Don’t remember the number… for the Help-Me Line.

Okay, there it is, on the note-cluttered freezer-top of the two-year-old Fridgidaire, held in place

by the magnet from the Mount Rushmore trip last year.

That was a good trip.

You should do that trek again, this time with a campervan.

Maybe after you call the number on the card.

And have a short nap.

A nap always helps.



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